GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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