i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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