we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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