i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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