at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
