BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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