two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize
