I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
3 2 1 whiskey
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
