did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You are the jesus of drinking
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
