In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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