Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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