Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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