Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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