I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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