so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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