Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
