That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
