He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
