Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
