I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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