areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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