No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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