Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
