Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize