Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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