Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
