I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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