Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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