she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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