theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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