I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
