Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
