I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize