This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
