I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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