oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
