That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize