i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
