woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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