there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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