OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
