i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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