We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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