dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
