You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
