doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
