the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
