just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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