Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
