why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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