I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
