We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We talked him into tasing himself.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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