My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
