Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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