when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
