Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Are we still banned from the library?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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