God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
