i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
