Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
