Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
