I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
