My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
