i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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