You just made me feel so damn special
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
