You just made me feel so damn special
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
