Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
BRING THE BAGELS
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
