I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
