She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
